Hey everyone! Sorry I've been silent for about two weeks...I've been crazy busy and blah. Nothing too important's been going on. There's jsut the usual high school drama and shit, but that's boring and terribly annoying so I won't go into it.

Good news! For the first time in a long time, I'm starting to feel like I'm worth something. I've been pretty depressed lately(probably not enough to warrant a diagnosis)but I'm starting to feel much better. I auditioned for my school musical (Beauty and the Beast!!! <333) and got a callback :D. I was so happy I hugged the director, ahaha. This is the first time I got a callback for the musical, so I really feel accomplished. I'm beginning to feel like I really am talented and I really am worth love. This is a big step for me since I fell into a pit of self-esteem issues around 8th grade. I always seem happy and okay, but sometimes...I'm not. Now, though, there are more sincere smiles than fake ones. I feel very, very good.

Sorry for beign gone for two weeks then just giving a blahblahblah paragraph about my boring life. Thanks to anyone who reads this <3.

Glee was AMAZING last night! I'll cut this to spare those of you who either don't care or don't want to be spoiled if you haven't seen it yet.
( gleeking under hurr )

Sorry I've been sucktastic lately...again x.x. Boston was pretty cool, except that I had the grumpy room xD. We got on each others' nerves pretty quickly. It was still fun, though. I'm just so much more appreciative of my own bed now <3.

School is crazy stressful, but I guess that's what junior year's about. I did physics homework for almost four hours yesterday. Fuck AP Physics. If you ever have the option to take it, DON'T.

My sister came home for college this week because her anxiety is like terrible. She gets panic attacks and these really bad compulsions. She's on medication now but has to take a lower dose in the beginning to prevent a bunch of side-effects. I'm really worried. I hope she'll be okay away at school until she comes home for Thanksgiving. She's so upset and I have no clue how to help her...it's scary. I want to make her happy =/

In happier news, I went to Katie's 'two weeks after her birthday' party last night and it was awesome. It was dubbed "Tarantino-fest" as we were supposed to watch Tarantino movies. We ended up only being able to watch Pulp Fiction. I hadn't seen it before...it was fucking awesome. I loved it. Tarantino as Jimmy looked sort of like CV's dad, which was weird, but kind of awesome. I surprisingly didn't slash Vincent and Jules...my slash-googles aren't as tight-fitting as I thought xD.

Blah, sorry for the info-dump. I promise I'll have a much more interesting Glee-focused post after Wednesday's episode <3

Kim's coming over soon so we can try to memorize our lines for drama. We have to be fully memorized by tomorrow's full-cast rehearsels, even though we've only had two rehearsals and haven't even blocked anything yet...FML. The director is so cracked out...this is gonna be a shitfest xD I'm gonna try and make the best of it, though. The people in Drama are always fun, so hopefully I'll at least enjoy the process.

School trip to Boston tomorrow! I'm so excited! It's gonna be insanely fun! I have to be at the school by 6:15 tomorrow morning =/ Hope it's worth it!

Sadly, going on this trip means I'm going to miss the cast of Glee at a local mall...FML. It would honestly make my life. I have two friends going and taking pictures for me. I'm so pissed off I have to miss it. Meeting Chris Colfer would be the best fucking thing. I'll jsut live vicariously through the pictures my friends take then =[

So this week was a big shit. I was really stressed with school and stuff, and i got into an epic fight with my boyfriend. He was being a bigoted intolerant shithead. He called the next day to apologize, so I gave him another chance. I don't know if we're even compatible, but I guess it's good for now. That makes me sound like such a bitch >.< I like him, but I'm not sure if we fully connect. I'll see how things go =/

My weekend was great, though! My friend Katie brought her bootleg of Inglourious Basterds over, and we had a fkin great time watching it (with Russian subtitles O-O). It was great and I have a rekindled passion for that movie now <3

Yesterday was fun, too. I chilled at Patti's house while my other lame friends went trick-or-treating. Seriously, you're much too old. Stop. I had much more fun eating food and watching Monty Python and the Holy Grail and Young Frankenstein. Gene Wilder= <333333
Then we went to Tom's house and chilled there. The weirdest thing was kissing my boyfriend hello while he was in his nun costume...I felt oh so blasphemous.

This is much too long. I'll be back from Boston on Wednesday night with stories and such. Until then...au revoir, Shosanna!

So my ex-best friend messaged me on Facebook apologizing for the shit that went down and asking to be friends again. I'm going to give her a chance. We were like sisters before, and even thought it's been months since we last talked, I miss her. She basically just followed what Krissy (ex-friend, terrible bitch) did, slowly leaving behind people Krissy alienated, so that eventually she dropped her two best friends since elementary school (my sister and I). She said she shouldn't have let one person come in between us, and that she didn't hate me, just let herself believe someone's lies. I'm thinking that Krissy fucked her over in some way, so she realizes that she used to have real friends. I'm going to try and make this work ut this time around. I have a feeling that some of my other friends might not like it, since she kinda fucked them over too, but they don't have to know right now, and they can suck my dick if they find out and don't like it. Why stay bitter over something? I'd much rather forgive and reconcile.

In other news, I went to Dorney Park on Sunday and my voice is SHOT. I want to sing so badly, but I can't! I'm gonna drink so much tea with shitloads of honey. I hate sitting silently in cohir, especially when some of the Soprano 2s decide to sing the Soprano 1 part...my raspy pubesccent boy voice doesn't work well enough to get the part out loudly. I also don't want to do more damage...screaming bloody murder all day Sunday definitely did a number on my poor vocal chords!

I'm going to be gone from Thursday to Saturday night...the family's going upstate to look at colleges. We're making a mini-vacation out of it to make it more fun. I'm a bit nervous about having to think about my future, but I'm glad to get away for a bit.

So this is obnoxiously long, sorry! I hope everyone's doing well. Until next time, flist <3

So I've been a stranger this week! I've been kind of stressed, so sorry for not posting and commenting like a good friend. School's been meh (YAY 56 on a Physics test!) and my friends are dramatic and I'm neurotic. Tommy&Vicky broke up, which is probably a good thing. She's been bitchy and distant with him, and he's just like "uhm?" He deserves someone...better. I hate to say that. She's my friend and I love her, but their personalities clash a bit. Some shit went down after that that I don' feel like getting into, but I think it's on its way to being resolved. I don't want to talk about it and then get re-upset.

In happier news, OMFG GLEE <3. It got me through this week. Their version of "Keep Holding On" almost made me cry. Holy shit, it was beautiful. I just wish people other than Finn and Rachel would get solos! Seriously, beautiful voices but I'm getting bored of them! I want some more Kurt,damnit! The best character on the show hasn't sung since the first episode...it's an injustice! I can'twait for hm on Defying Gravity, though. He better win that solo over fucking Rachel. Also, screw Finn/Quinn and Finn/Rachel, I want Finn/Kurt to happen NOW. My sister and my gleek friend Frank both agree...it should happen fo sho.

I'll stop here...I have to take the PSAT tomorrow morning...blehh. Homecoming tomorrow <3 even though I don;t like football xD I want the team to bust out Single Ladies, but I doubt it'll happen. Ah well, hopefully it'll be fun. Then I'm most likely going to Dave and Buster's for Cv's birthday as an unoffical 'party.' Hopefully he gets back to me on times and such. Oh flaky friends <3

It's been a loooong week. Last Friday, I went over the boyfrand's house and "watched" the Breakfast Club. We actually did something else but there was, in fact, a movie playing...so we can almost say we were watching it ^^. He's an alright kisser...a bit too enthusiastic with his tongue...but what do I expect from an awkward teenaged boy? xD

After that, I was in New Paltz visiting Chelsea for parent/family weekend. It was gorgeous and we came home with apples we picked and donuts made in apple cider...all in all a productive trip!

The rest of the week has been meh...I got into Jazz Choir as a "replacement," which means I get to be in the choir ONLY if a Soprano or Soprano II gets kicked out...which puts me in the terribly mean position hoping that someone screws up enough so i get to be in. I tried so hard and the director know how devoted I am, in choir class and just as a signer. I'm just ugh...Hopefully I get to be in. We're singing Don't Stop Believin'(the gLee arrangement!!), Billie Jean, and We Are the Champions so far...so if I don't get the chance to sing this awesome music I'll be really upset.

Anyway, my comp's getting all screwy and Vicky's being weird so I'm gonna stop here. Sorry if I haven't been commenting/posting a lot, flist...I've been kinda busy and stressed.

So we just had our first rehearsel for the fall play. The director wrote it again, but it's actually much better than last year's. Except that my sister and I got stuck with quite possibly the SHITTIEST parts. I know I'm gonna sound like a total bitch but whatever. I KNOW I deserve better. He repeatedly tells us how briliiant we are...then sticks us in a part with disappointingly little stage time, in which we're the "evil sisters" in his lame Cinderella rip-off. We basically abuse the girl playing "Cynthia," flirt with the asshole 'love interest,' get called ugly about 15000 times, then wimp out at the end and leave. It's so fucking annoying, especially when I know I'm a better actress than the girl with the lead. I know this is theatre blah blah blah but I don;t understand why he would call me brilliant and then stick me in such a shit part. I'm so pissed off. I'm pretty sure my sister and I are going to talk to him tomorrow after school and calmly and nicely ask why he would say all that and then give us parts that are more than a little disappointing...and if he can't do anything aobut the part, to maybe take out some of the "you're ugly!" because it's like upsetting.

To make this more stressful, I'm auditioning for jazz choir tomorrow and I don't know what I'm singing and I'm terrified I won't get in for the third year in a row...I don't know why I'm still trying but whatever. Maybe this year'll be different.

To top it all off my friend is being a bitch to my boyfriend. FUCK YOU. Leave him the hell alone.

Sorry for the bitchy rant, flist. You probably think I'm a terrible person but...I had to get it out. I'm hoping everyone else is feeling better than I am.

So my date with Richie (my bf) on Saturday went really really well. Uhm, except for when i kissed him goodnight and sort of missed his face xD. We fixed that when I saw him today, though. Honestly, he's fucking adorable and so sweet and ahhh I'm just so happy. I can;t stop smiling. The only "flaw" I can think of is his love of Fox News. Like, he's very conservative(expect his being pro-choice), but it's actually fun to debate with him, so I don't mind too much. I'll end up learning more from someone who thinks pretty differently than from someone with the same ultra-liberal views as me.

I'm so sorry I haven't been commenting very much, Flisters. I love you guys. I've been super busy and tired but I'm going to try to comment more. *Is fail*

I also come bearing meme goodness! Stolen from my wonderful sister mrspiccoloswife.

Comment with a fandom and I'll give you my...

① One True Pairing Ship:
② Canon Ship:
③ "If this happens I'll stab my eyes out with something that is not a spork because people who say 'spork' are the worst people on earth" Ship:
④ "You are one sick puppy" Ship:
⑤ "I dabble a little" Ship:
⑥ "It's like a car crash" Ship:
⑦ "Tickles my fancy but not sold just yet" Ship:
⑧ "Makes no canon sense but why the heck not" Ship:
⑨ "Everyone else loves it but I just don't feel it" Ship:

So, the kid I've been interested asked me out last night!~ We hung out during the day with our friends at this Italian street fair thing and flirted a bit, but we were both awkward and shy, haha. But, now, we're "going out." I couldn't be happier. We're going to a cute little coffee place probably Saturday night. I can't wait!

So, I'm kinding falling for some guy. He's my freind Tom's friend from his Catholic school. He's really into me, and is probably one of the sweetest guys I've ever met. Things look hopeful. It's strange that I would fall for him, since he's pretty conservative and I'm a very very liberal. I guess this is a good opportunity for me to open my mind a bit more. I'm just super excited that a guy I like actually likes me back. Ugh, this all sounds so painfully high school but whatever xD. I have such a good feelign about this <3.

Nothing else in my life has been very very interesting, so I'll leave off here.

So, yay, I'm 16 today! I don't really feel any different...maybe because I've celebrated three times already(trip to Vegas in May, party w/ friends in August, aunt&uncle coming over on Saturday). I do, though, have a good feeling about being 16. Yay optimism!

So when my aunt and uncle came over Saturday, everyone decided to turn the conversation to death. My mom decided to fill out my grandma's health care proxy form with her right before we had cake. WOW HAPPY BIRTHDAY, WHO GETS TO DECIDE TO PULL THE PLUG ON GRANDMA?! I got really upset, and was like, weeping at the table. Happy birthday indeed. XD But, we had Carvel ice cream cake after, so it was a bit better. It just brough back the same feeling I got when my other grandma died, and I just got so upset. I feel better now, though.

So I'm auditioning for the fall play on Wednesday, and I'm pretty sure I'm fully memorized. I'm doing Azrael's monolgue from Dogma, that was cut from the final movie, where he discusses how humands made Hell so terrible. It's really fun and awesome :D

I'm starting dance classes today. I have lyrical at 8:30. I've never taken it before so I'm a bit nervous. I'm glad to get the exercise, though.

I don't really feel like writing more, so I won't. How have all of you been, flist?

School started yesterday. I'm already a bit tired, but I'm trying to enjoy it.

My favorite class is AP Language (English), because my teacher is basically the coolest woman alive. She's so chill and I can tell I'm going to learn so much from her.

Everything else is just alright. I can tell I'm not going to like AP Physics, but I guess on the bright side, I'll feel ridiculously smart if I do well! I was a bit lost in math today, but my teacher's a cool guy, so I'll be alright.

Drama club auditions for the fall play are Wednesday! They're so early this year. I think I'm going to do Val's monologue from A Chorus Line (the one right before her song). It's a good change from the monologue I used last year about a teenage alocholic, and it's a change from the dramatic monologues I always chose in his drama class. I'm pretty confident that I'll get a decent part because he's told me more than once how talented he believes I am. Also, this year I feel just generally better about myself, and I think that'll help. So, yay, I get to act again!

I've been on a ridiculous Inglourious Basterds kick. I can't stop listening to the soundtrack and reading fic and gazing at picspams! My friend CV and I plan to ask our AP American History teacher why the textbook doesn't mention Aldo Raine and the Basterds when we get to the WW2 unit :D.

America's Next Top Model AND Glee come back tonight! Good night, good night.

I've decided to make this coming school year a great one. I'm turning things around, internally. I'm making an effort to remain optimistic, and I'm going to try to like myself. I need more confidence, but I can't depend on other people to make me feel good about myself. It's all up to me. I'm going to tell myself that I'm beautiful. I'm going to believe in myself. I'm going to go with the flow and remain happy despite some shitty things. I'm letting go of old grudges and preconcieved notions. I'm looking for only the best in people. I'm doing what I want, regardless of what people think or say aobut me. Even though I have some downer friends, I'm not going to let their pessimism rain on my parade :)

School starts Tuesday. I'm a bit nervous, but as you can see, I'm excited. I have such a good feeling about this year because I'm going to make the very best of it. It's going to be hard, with AP Physics, AP English, AP American History, Pre-Calc BC Honors, college-level Spanish, not to mention all the extea shit I'll be doing, but I'm not going to let it overwhelm me. I know I'm intelligent, and if I do worse in classes than usual, I'll remind myself that it's just one grade. I'm going to be calm and cheerful and confident and friendly and prove all my cynical friends wrong. People are good at heart, and I want to reflect that as well as find proof of it.

I'm so hopeful in the romance department, too. I'm not looking for an omgtwulove, but I would like to find someone to love and care for and be with. I'm young, yes, but I haven;t had a real boyfriend before. I think this is the year, partially due to this surge of confidence.

Sorry for this blob of optimism and happy, and if you disagree with this brand new outlook, that's okay. I just wanted to express how I feel right now :)

Dear friend,

We didn't invite you to hang out tonight because you happen to hate F. F made the plans, and if you hate him, why would you want to come? Please stop being such a giant douche.
Love,
Me

I haven't posted in a while, so I figured I might as well. I saw Inglourious Basterds on Wednesday and today. It was ridiculously awesome both times! The cast was really great, and the movie itself was just ahh so great! Christoph Waltz as Hans Landa was probably the best part. A jolly Nazi, while unnerving, was just great fun. I recommend that everyone goes and sees it!

My friend V has been being a bitch as usual, but that's dull and annoying so I won't go into details. Her and her boyfriend broke up. I wonder how long that's going to last...-_-

I watched A Very Potter Musical last night with Tom and my sister. I love it! Voldemort/Quirell forever <3333

I'm feeling good today. On Sunday, after church, my sister and I helped out wiuth our youth group at a soup kitchen typed thing at a different Methodist church, and it was a really nice experience. It was great to be able to help so many peopel (about 30). I'd love to do it again!

I got a new phone yesterday! It's a red enV3, and it's amazing. It's such a nice change from the ancient razr that was my first and only phone. I'm so fucking spoiled.

I wrote the essay I was assigned for AP English. I took forever, and it sucks a lot, but at least it's done. I hate hw over the summer =/.

That's about it. I'll post again when something interesting happens in my life xD.

I'm in an insanely good mood. Yesterday was the last day of "Vacation Bible School" and all I can say is good riddance. It sucked a bit this year. The kids didn't have enough to do and the middle school kids "helping" were just a hinderance. They didn't want to do anything and were more immature than the 3rd, 4th, and 5th graders I taught. I'm just so glad it's over!

Last night I met my friend Tom's other friends. Tom goes to an all-boys Catholic school, and I was so excited to finally meet all these kids. They were all really cool, and most of them were very attractive :). I felt like this kid Dan was hitting on me a bit, but I think he's just a flirt with most people, since it seemed like he was flirting with my friend Kim earlier in the evening. Whatevs, I'm just happy to have met them. My friend's dad drove me home in his Mustang, and ohmigod it was so fun! I have no clue how fast we were going on the parkway, but it was really exhilirating. It also reminded me of Top Gear. :)

My sister went back to college today. I'm going to miss her, even though we fought a lot while she was home. I'll have to send her ridiculous bumper stickers and stuff on Facebook. That's how we keep in touch xD.

I have to write a short essay by the end of the summer, but fuck it. Not today. I'm too calm and cheerful to do schoolwork.

Stole this from sexyblack. :)

1. Who is your favorite FMA character?
I can't choose! Hughes, Ed, Al, both Armstrongs (Alex and Olivier), Havoc, Fuery, Scar, Envy, Hohenheim, Ling, Gluttony, Kimblee. I like most xD.

2. What is your favorite pairing?
Roy/Hughes (Pre-Gracia!!), Royai, Ed/Winry, Lust/Gluttony(I'm an oddball), and the all-time best crack pairing: Alex Armstrong/Pinako. So much love, where's the fic?

3. Are you a FMA yaoi or hentai fan?
Yes. Both. Although I haven't read fic in a very long time.

4. Ever cosplayed a FMA character? If so, who, where and how many times?
Not yet =/ Maybe Halloween?

5. List your collection of FMA junk and merchandise, if any:
All the manga volumes up to and including 18, a custom Ed poster-thing given to me as a confirmation present, a state alchemist's watch, and at one point also had an Ed pin and an Al pin, stick-on iPod covers, and a t-shirt. I am much more obsessed with FMA than I thoughht xD.

6. Have you ever felt that you were destined to be with a FMA character?
I obvioudly have to mend Scar's heart with Twu Wuv. (kidding!)

7. Ed/Win or Roy/Ed?
Ed/Win all the way.

8. Al/Win or Al/Mei?
Al/Win, I guess. I don't like Mei, and I don't see them ever being romantically involved...that squicks me a bit.

9. Ed/Al or Ed/Alfons?
Speaking of squick...DNW. I'm usually cool with whatever, but Elricest disturbs me so much. If I had to choose, Ed/Alfons, but seriously NO. Neither.

10. Have you watched the new series yet?
A few episodes...I should get on that.

11. Do you think Ling will survive?
I hope so...I'd be so sad if he didn't.

12. Who is your favorite homunculus?
Gluttony :D. So cute. I also adore Envy in all his prickish glory. Selim is awesome in a terrifying, horrible way.

13. First anime!Ed or second anime!Ed?
First, since it's what I knew first, and because I haven;t watched enough of the second.

14. Have you seen all first anime episodes so far?
Yess.

15. Have you read all the chapters so far?
Sadly, no. I have to buy 19. And I don't read scans for FMA. i like owning them too much and don;t want to be spoiled.

16. Do you like Rosé?
She's pretty cool.

17. Sub or dub?
Dub. *is shot* I just love the voice acting in it. Sorry! *hides*

18. Pro-Winry or Anti-Winry?
PRO! I love Winry <3

19. When did you get into FMA?
When I was 10. So, almost 6 years ago. O_O I'm not even friends with the person who introduced it to me anymore.

20. What got you into it?
Uhm. everything. Loved the story and the pure emotion of it was awesome!

21. Your thoughts on Hoho-papa...
I love Hoho <3. He's always been so interesting and mysterious, and also rather entertaining. Lovelovelove.

22. Which character would be the best cross dresser?
Obvs Envy.

23. Alfons or Ling?
Ling!

24. Which character would be the best OOC?
None! They should remain in-character, please.

25. Do you like FMA fanfics?
Yes!

26. Do you write FMA fanfics?
No, I want to, though.

27. Do you like lemons?
If it's well written, yes.

28. Do your parents know about the FMA characters?
Not really. My dad calls anime those stupid cartoons and my mom doesn't really care xD.

29. Have you worn FMA stuff to school?
Yes =] A t-shirt of Ed and Al. It was a great shirt.

30. Have you seen fanart for it?
Why of course.

31. Have you ever gotten someone else hooked on FMA?
Trying to get my friend Matt to watch/read it.

32. Have you ever been drawing FMA in school and has someone recognized it?
I can't draw for shit, so no.

33. Have you ever been in class drawing FMA and the teacher came up to you and said 'WTF is this?'
Again, no.

34. Has FMA affected your school life and grades?
Wtf no.

35. Are you broke thanks to FMA?
Nahhh. I buy Fruits Basket manga, too. :D

36. Do you want to do alchemy?
Why not.

37. Do you wish the series was about to end?
What no!

38. Do you draw FMA fanart? If so, count how many there are in your gallery?
I've tried to. Never really worked out.

39. Have you made an AMV for FMA?
Nope.

40. Do you have a FMA OC?
Noooooo.

tI had a party at my house for my 16th birthday on Saturday, even thought I don't actually turn 16 until September. My bffl Tom got my sister and I the director's cut of Watchmen! I forgot how much I loved it. I enjoyed most of the added stuff, but some of the gore was a bit unnecessary.  I really didn't have to see Adrian's assistant's fingers blown off. I'm usually good with violence and shit, but tbh, I cringed. 

Hollis Mason's death almost made me cry. The music was, IMO, distracting, but maybe it was supposed to be? I don't know. Still, I was just as horrified as when I read it in the GN, and very close to tears. RIP Hollis <3.

I forgot how fucking sad the ending makes me.  I almost cried (again) when Rorschach died, but Dan's cliched "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!1111!!" kind of killed it for me.  I love Patrick Wilson in every other scene, but I feel like it was very overdone. I felt like I was stabbed when Rorschach ripped off his mask and omfg I'm getting sad writing about it. 

What really got to me, though, was how Dr. Manhattan is blamed for Adrian's actions. Jon is my favorite character, and it kills me to see him blamed for something he didn't do. I know the big squidmonster would look ridiculous onscreen, but at least poor Jon wouldn't get blamed. 

The whole ending is such a downer to me. Jon leaves with everyone thinking he killed millions, Rorschach's dead, and although everything seems  like Adrian's plan is actually a success, I can't help but think that decades down the line, thing will start to go to shit. Rorschach journal might be published, and even then, who's going to believe that it contains the truth? Who would want to believe that? And if people do, the world would be thrown into horrible violent chaos again. Pretty fucking depressing. 

On a happier note, I want Jon fic. I haven't read any at all, and that depresses me. Recs plz? Also, I think I ship Jon/Adrian a bit. No clue why. Think it would work, somehow.

I'm terribly sorry that this was so long and nerdy!